Little Kandi Raver

Yesterday's first 'glow-in-the-dark' dance was fun, as expected, and my pill was freaking amazing. The only downside is that my jaw isn't very mobile today and my tongue is completely chewed up. Other then that, I don't have a crash at all and I feel great with this gorgeous weather shining down on my face. The dance went by extremely fast and they actually played trance! Yeah, that got me pumped. Oh, and thanks Patrick. :] It felt like heaven x10 when you were scratching and biting me as we danced. Hahahaha.

So going back to Friday, I almost died.. AGAIN! I have too many near death experiences. Well perhaps I'm over exaggerating but seriously, I could have gotten serious head trauma. Mongols and I were on top of the roof of a bathroom at Alum Rock park, with 40's of course. All of a sudden, a park ranger came and we all had to bounce, fast. Extremely intoxicated and not being able to think or walk straight, I TRIED leaping onto the lower roof to get down, which required more effort then I thought and somehow, I didn't make it. Before I knew it, I was upside down, dangling with my foot hooked onto an open square on a gate. Thank God. If that miracle didn't happen, I would have plummeted head first into the concrete.

I don't want to exclude my parents out of my teenage years, so I spent my entire Saturday morning and afternoon with them. Oh, and since my step-brother was back from New York, we ate with them too. Even though I never mention my family in my blog, I'm really close to them. I don't get to see my parents every Friday and Saturday though since I'm always out and they're always out. I think I'm going to be a lot like them when I'm older, young forever.

Ew, I was too lazy to put makeup on but yeah, this is my immediate family and we usually have great, fun, warm times together. But when we're with the rest of our enormous family consisting of over 20 aunts and uncles and a billion cousins, we don't do anything BUT have fun.

San Jose's not that bad when you look at it from another view. I should probably stop complaining about this city, as much as I want to get out of it. "Our bodies breathe of the city street lights" - October Fall

We all need a little more room to live

Something Corporate- Konstantine

I've listened to this 10 minute song AT LEAST 50 times while doing my homework over the past several months, yet I never really paid much attention to the lyrics until today. And wow, they're really incredible.

-- I need to stop acting like I'm so deserving all the time. Come on Sugar, deserve NOTHING! You don't deserve to run all of those red lights, or eat that bag of chips just because you laid off a few other foods, and you certainly do not deserve a freaking thirty minute break of unproductive-ness for doing a mere set of homework problems!

Oh, and YOU. Stop being so narcissistic, you illiterate bitch. Sorry, stress tends to bring out the worst in people.

Castro (7:11:24 PM): i want to kick a baby off a bridge right now

Yeah..

Catch Your Wave

This has been a particular weekend comprised of the use of illegal substances, at least for a minor.

We hit a gorgeous beach on Friday afternoon while the rest of our classmates were rooting on the rest of their friends at FANTASTICS. I'd rather not be there, I find it quite dreary when we're not participating. So although the beach was quite an inspiring beauty, I was too cold and too drunk to really appreciate it and make the most out of that day. I probably had about ten beers of Natural Ice/Keystone that day, yikes. I have a pretty weak beer system. Well the highlights of my Friday was walking up the cliff twice with no shoes and getting lost(almost the worst enduring pains ever), being toppled and engulfed by a wave when I was trying to look all sexy in the ocean, and eating raw mussels, yum! Other then that, the whole bon fire thing didn't ensue and it was pitch black so we settled on heading home around 8 or 9.

I wake up six hours later in my bed, still sandy, realizing that it was now six in the morning. Wtf happened after the beach? I tried piecing bits of last night together but I just couldn't recall one memory after leaving the beach. Two hours later, Jordan texts me to get pho with him and Johnny. Little did Johnny and I know that we would get a crazy trip off Brownies around 1 that day. I swear, weed makes people think of the craziest shit. I thought I was a butterfly in a cacun when I was wrapped in Joanna's blanket. I thought I was late for school when Andy Khan was messing with me. I thought we were in San Francisco and all of a sudden in a flower field. Oh yeah, and I was hallucinating like crazy when I was looking at Jordan's blanket. It feels like what people say an acid trip would be. Poor Johnny threw up. :[ Anyhow, we were completely cracked out by 6 on Patrick's bed. I think people played beer pong while we slept. Oh yeah, and I looked like a hooker on crack today.

Kiss Me, I'm Irish!

Okay, so maybe I'm not. But to me, everyone is Irish on Irish Day! I'd rather not call it Saint Patrick's Day after I found the meaning behind it. Plus, I didn't find any rainbows or a pot of gold! Well anyways, Irish Day was celebrated with a whole lot of Mickey's, at least for Joanna and I. How fitting. :]

Oh yeah, and that thing about always being determined when I'm drunk... I conjure up eating TWO Cup of Noodles when I got home. FUCK MEEEE, so much for my effing diet. Well that was the last thing I remembered before looking at the time on my block-like cell phone which said 11:00pm. Next thing I know, I was rushing out of bed into the shower, thanking that it was still the same day.

"I only drink on two occasions - When I am thirsty and when I'm not thirsty."
- Brendan Behan

P.s. I lost the lucky braceley I once possessed with a leaf, bird, missing elephant, and missing peace sign. :[ No wonder my grades haven't been up to par lately.

Curiouser and Curiouser

Almost being assassinated by a grenade, I woke up in a hot sweat this morning, dreaming that I was a queen. I swear, I have the most eccentric dreams when I'm drunk. Well when I woke up, the first thing to come into vision were music notes, leaves, a broken heart, and a retarded looking fish tattooed with Sharpie all over my arms. Oh yeah, and 7 tally marks were somewhere in between the music notes, even though I had an extra beer last night and I'm not sure how many more shots of Smirnoff Razz after that.

I'm way, way too determined when I'm drunk. If I have a set goal, I'll do whatever possible to get it, so just watch out... I recall that I told myself I would make eggs when I got home and even though I don't remember actually making or eating eggs, I know I did. This morning I got a knock on my door around 8 telling me that I left the stove on all night. -_-. Thank goodness my step dad is so chill because my mom would freak is she found out.

The question that will never be answered and that I wonder about everyday. What is life and it's purpose? Is your entire life revolved around learning about yourself as a person? Creating yourself as a person? Is it to help the rest of society and future generations to come? Or is it just one of those, -you're born and then you die kind of concepts. Well I kind of think it's all of those things. Of course at 17, I wouldn't know but what I've seemed to think the aim of life is to experience and learn, feel emotions and passions. But wouldn't it just be completely awesome to achieve nirvana? Or would it- what would life be like after that? Hmm, curiouser and curiouser.

6 Days of Bad Judgement

I've somehow accessed my blog through the school computers. Yay! Something for me to do during journalism.

Well yesterday was my sixth day drinking in a row and I really don't recall much of what happened. Hmm, I need to stop making stupid decisions when I'm intoxicated and slow down on getting smashed before my eyes start turning an ugly yellow! Astonishingly, I'm not too worried about my liver. I think everyone has an equal probability at getting liver diseases, alcoholic or not.

Tonight will be a long night of suffering under heaps and loads of homework. It’s my fault for procrastinating but yesterday was an exception to drink since it was Cupcake’s birthday :]. Happy 18th girl! Well stress is a good thing from time to time anyways. Plus, I like to act like I’m Superwoman and manage to get everything done the night before. Oh eff, I forgot I had to study for other tests tomorrow too.

On Monday, I broke my New Year's resolution. :[ I ate Mama noodles! I forgot they were considered “instant noodles” since they weren’t actually cooked. That was another bad decision I made when I was inebriated… On the bright side, I get to eat Cup of Noodles again, yay!! I think I’ll make FIVE when I get home. :]

It's getting more frequent for me to blog drnk and I just want to mispell every word so I DON'T GOVE A FUCK. I'm about 3 days late of joiurnalism. FUCK IT. Thug life.

Love?

Are there different types of love? There's only one way to say it, but how could the meanings be so different? Intimacy? Friendship? The word is too broad.

I've been drunk for over 27 hours. If this blog didn't have spell check, it would be the most pointless blog ever.

Today turned out to be a very exquisite adventure. I honestly don't know how, but I ended up in San Francisco with Vivian, Andy Khan, Kevie, and A-$. I'm sure it was a blast, even though I don't remember the most of it. My morning started off EXTREMELY drunk, awakened by the sound of text messages. Yes, very annnoyed since I had the WORST HEADACHE EVER. I called A-$, in hopes of him curing my hangover and he told me he would be going to La Vics with Kevie in a bit so I decided to join them and drag Andy Khan along. Still EXTREMELY drunk, so I decided to have a couple more shots of Grey Goose. Bad idea. Alcohol only leads to more alcohol.

I just know that we went to the Post Secrets museum with Vivian (yeah, I didn't know it was a musum either.) I was the only one crying in there... I feel like such a whimp now, but how could you not cry?! Those secrets are so touching and I know you could relate to at least 30% of them.

After the museum, we went to Coit Tower, where I could barely walk, let alone run like everyone else. By that point, I finished half of Kevie's Miller and half of my Steel 2 11. Later, we got clam chowder from the warf and now, I'm still very drunk and just contemplating about the word, love.

Oh yes, I also had a nature weekend. It was GORGEOUS out. It's also humerous because my mom and I both agreed that this was the happiest time of our lives.

Conspicuous

It's kind of annoying how my emotions are so palpable sometimes, not that I put up a facade or anything. Nevertheless, it seems as if people can always tell how I'm feeling, no matter how hard I try to keep my emotions cloaked. Perhaps it's because I'm such an open book and one of the worst liars around. You are the x-ray, and I am the skeleton.

Today, I went to Target with my dear sweetest #1, Adam! I dragged him along since he had nothing better to do and I had a shopping list that needed doing . Little did we know that we would spend 2 hours in Target fascinated by products, not even relevant to my brief shopping list. So of course, I ended up walking out of the store with more things then intended. However, I am very pleased with my items! :]

Ordinarily, I would have something on my mind bothering me, such as a test or such, but surprisingly, I have nothing. I've been keeping my room spotless, I have little to no homework, and best of all, my math and physics grade have gone up a letter grade! Yes, the feeling of accomplishment by not drinking on weekdays. :]

P.s. It started hailing ice the size of baby m&ms today. Just a taste of what is to come in the near future. Global warming. -_-

Terrifying Tempest

This is the scariest weather ever! I'm home by myself and I think my roof is on the verge of blowing off!! Eeeeks!

Yesterday's beer pong competition was fun! Fun, fun fun. And beer (smiles). Lots and lots of beer (bigger smile). So much beer, I hold it responsible for my exceptionally eccentric dream last night. There was so much to it that if it were written down, it would turn into a hefty novel. Let's just say that it went from the most absurd combination of animals to picking flowers with my little god brother.

Anyways, enough about my peculiar dreams. I really need to start showing up to first period more often before I nearly fail! I was deducted 70 points last semester from government due to tardies -_-. Wtf. Oh, and for some reason, I've been telling everyone my Friday morning story so I might as well end my blog about it, as pointless as it is.

Well, I was already late for first period on Friday so I decided to take a trip to Savemart for cute band-aids! When I got there, they didn't really have what I was looking for so I decided to go to Safeway instead and there, I got these super cute Barbie band-aids! Yayy! After that, I got sort of hungry and decided not to show up to first period at all. So, I took drive to McDonalds and picked up hash browns for Johnny and I. The end.