Valentine's Day

My heart has just been broken. I've felt this throbbing, unconquerable pain in my heart before, but I've never had to get over someone that I was falling in love with. I miss him and I don't know how this happened. Maybe it truly is for the better.. but its going to take a while before I'm convinced of that. I feel dead.. only its worse than being dead because I feel like I'm constantly being tortured. I was so happy for the last 6 months, and I took everything for granted. I was enjoying listening to cheesy music like Jack Johnson, Colbie Caillat, and Michael Buble. I'll never hear country music the same ever again. I was watching the most cliche romantic comedies, and really enjoyed them too. I felt and had what all the girls had in the movies. Now the things that I used to enjoy just bring me to tears. I don't know what to do. Of course, its the Valentine's Day curse, and it still hasn't been broken.

Auto- Pilot

"I’m waiting for some bureaucrat suit to come by my house on the 29th to explain how life works to me in an easy 4 hour seminar or something. I’m just completely blind to what the future holds. It scares me. More than spiders even. I don’t know. I feel like I’m running on auto pilot only the pilot is drunk and doesn’t really know where he’s going either."

- some relatable 20 year old i've never met named Kurt.

IT'S SUMMER BITCHES!

Calculus 2 has probably been my greatest accomplishment up until this day, and I finished strong! :D Never have I slaved with sweat and tears over a class before. However, it was definitely worth it and I AM PROUD of myself.

I'm really going to miss studying with Alan Chow and Sara Bui. <3 They're such good friends and they've really shaped me into a better person while teaching me soooo many important things in life. They are the most kind and wholesome people ever and I <3 them!

For now, the school year is over and I'll be returning to Evergreen in a month for summer school. It was a bittersweet ending today while I was leaving the campus with Nick and Anh. What am I going to do without them in the fall?! It's okay, they'll come back from Davis often.

I'm just glad to have met all the people I've been seeing daily at tutoring center. Who knows if that place will ever be the same... from stealing stacks of fax paper to getting into the most bizzare conversations.
... till next semester...
... till next semester.

Broken Social Scene- For A Seventeen Year Old Girl

Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that
Now you're all gone, got your makeup on, and you're not coming back
Can't you come back?



Nope. I like where I am now. The old Jessica probably would have said "FUCK IT" to everything thrown her way, without consideration. However, I'm thinking things much more thoroughly now and with a VAST amount of consideration. I may have been happier back then... but I'm better off this way. I make much better decisions. :] Don't worry though, being carefree will always run in my veins.

P.s. Starting my new job at Mizu Sushi Bar&Grill as soon as I start summer in 9 days. Woohoo!

Escape Me

Most of the time, I'm just trying to escape reality.

Got the weed in the bag

I started toking at 8:15am...
ate some brownies in between
got home around 6:30
woke up just now, FML

Thats how you do it though
Happy 4/20. :]

Psychology 001

This psychology class I'm taking is really making me view everything in life differently now. I feel like I've been such a selfish person all my life. I really need to start being more compassionate towards others and start directing my life to helping others more. I'm not entirely there yet, but I'm still maturing.

I'm slipping in school and I don't know what to do. My priorities are getting out of hand. I know what the word is: PRODUCTIVITY. I need to be more productive. After I got into that fight with McCandless on Wednesday, it got me especially gloom. It's hard for me to believe in myself if others don't believe in me, so I end up not even giving a fuck. That was the first time I cried in public... since a considerably long time.

I'm not going to lie, but there has never been a dull night for the past several Thursdays-Saturdays (sometimes even Sundays). I love that my group of friends have joined forces with a couple other groups of friends. They're a blast and so SWEET. Most of all, we all share the common interest of drugs&alcohol. I absolutely love going to sleep and waking up to my friends in the morning.

I've been listening to a lot of The Smiths and She&Him lately.